I was told that delivering a baby would be “the most beautiful thing I’d ever see.” “Yeah, OK” I thought. I already knew from watching that stuff on TV that I most likely didn’t want to have anything to do with it. Bodily fluids squirting and splashing around just isn’t my forte.
Anyway, the time came and I was intentionally slow about putting on my protective gear. I wanted to be at the back of the pack, and at least watch once before I was thrown in head first. “Get up there and deliver the placenta” they said. “Actually, I’ll just watch that too if that’s cool” was my reply.
As I had initially thought, birth was nothing “beautiful” in my mind. Nine times out of ten we’d have some really dirty woman with no prenatal care spitting out their fourth, fifth or sixth child. Beautiful? Nah, nasty is more like it. There’s more blood and bodily fluids from a vaginal delivery than most major traumas. You better put your knee boots on or else you’ll be throwing away your shoes, socks and scrub pants.
With absolutely no intention of going into clinical medicine, who cares if I never delivered a baby while on my OB rotation? The honest truth is that I haven’t. Ever. I don’t care, either. I have no use for the knowledge of delivering a child. If a woman goes into labor close me I’ll just do what every other normal person would do and call 911. It’s pretty simple.
After watching a dozen or so vaginal deliveries, I have to say that they are far from beautiful. Cats, dogs, horses, cows and all other mammals have live births. Why is that a human birth is so “special?” More often than not, the women having the babies don’t deserve to be having them anyway. Instead of humanistic candy-ass liberals we need more mandatory tubal ligations.