[...] Later on I learned that this wasn’t exactly true. [...]…

=)

Translation: Goofy definitions of things that you should be doing anyways that nobody ever thought it necessary to catergorize until we all became a bunch of over-managed pussies.

“Metrics”

Translation: Useless statistics that mean nothing, have no bearing on patient care, and only serve to suck up even more of our valuable time.

Thanks for the suggestions guys, and keep them coming.

Here are a few more that drive me nuts:

“Evaluations” and “Feedback” – Why don’t they just call it what it is: GRADING. Maybe they can’t call it that since grading implies something somewhat objective and that is clearly not the case on “the wards.”

“GI Rounds” – People use this all the time when talking about having a meal. “Page the team and let’s go to the cafeteria for GI Rounds.” Whatever.

Another great one used at my school – “systems-based learning.” It made a little more sense 2nd year, but now that we’re in the hospital it makes no sense to be “evaluated” on this. Last time I checked patients were people and not just a collection of “systems.”