Five First Year Mistakes To Avoid

Hoover  13 Mar, 2007  Medical School, Medical Students

So you’ve made it to medical school. Good job. Now comes the hard part of not looking like a tool. Here are five mistakes that will make you stand out of your class like a sore thumb.

1. Telling Everybody That You’re In Medical School

Yeah, we get it. You’re in medical school. Strong work. What you don’t get is that nobody else really cares. This especially includes the guy at the gas station or your waiter or waitress at a local restaurant. You look like an ass, so don’t do it. Bonus points if one of your friends follows up your comment with “He just tells everybody that because of low self-esteem. He really works down at Wal-Mart as a door greeter.”

2. Placing Your Stethoscope Around Your Rear View Mirror

Don’t. Do. It. Nothing says “Look at me, I’m a nurse” more than committing this terrible mistake. Not to mention it dangles into your field of vision, so it’s a danger to everybody else on the road. I thought you wanted to save people, not stick them in the hospital while you’re too busy looking to see who’s noticing your dangling piece of medical crap.

MD2B3. Vanity Plates

OK, so dad bought the Mercedes and pays extra for a vanity plate so you can drive around looking like an ass. Definitely a sound investment. If you want to essentially guarantee that someone will key your car at some point before the first month of medical school is over, have a vanity plate. But, since Dad bought the care to begin with, you probably don’t give a shit one way or the other.

4. Wearing Your White Coat Outside of the Hospital

You’ll get your white coat during first year, although your need for one is practically zero at this point in your medical career. One thing to remember is to never wear it outside of the hospital. The locals around your medical school have been seeing white coats for a hell of a lot longer than you have. They don’t give a shit, and see you wearing it outside of the hospital as a weak cry for attention. Don’t be an attention whore.

5. Telling Everybody Where You Went to College

Every medical class has this guy. By the end of the first week of medical school, the whole class knows where he went to college, what his GPA was, and how great his MCAT score is. Newsflash: You’re in class with other students who went to a state school and have average MCAT scores and GPAs. If you were so great, your whole class would consist of people like yourself. Nobody cares about which Ivy League school raped your parent’s checking account.

Maximum Imprisonment

Making these mistakes will not only have your entire class talking about you in record time, but you’ll also look like a complete and total tool. The punishment fits the crime.

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15 Comments so far »

  1. Cherokee said

    March 13 2007 @ 5:25 pm

    I dunno, if you were a hopeful proctologist, ASSMAN would be a good plate.

  2. Panda Bear said

    March 13 2007 @ 5:54 pm

    You know, everybody tells me what a great blog I have but I can’t hold a candle to you.

  3. Ryan said

    March 13 2007 @ 6:38 pm

    One day an ambulance was parked outside of my med school (apparently some girl fell and hurt her leg). Well a classmate of mine, dressed in his white coat and stethoscope around his neck, goes outside and begins talking with the paramedics. I thought that was pretty impressive, 3 of your categories in one shot. This is the same guy who compulsively answers other students’ questions before the professor gets a shot (a possible 6th category?).

    Great Blog! Keep it up!

  4. Road Kill Ninja said

    March 13 2007 @ 8:56 pm

    Ryan,

    I think that could definitely be a 6th category. Possibly a 7th would be telling everyone about your previous healthcare experience (i.e. 7 years as a CNA); nobody gives a damn!

  5. CobraCommander said

    March 13 2007 @ 9:15 pm

    Don’t forget telling everyone about the research “you” did in undergrad (”I got coffee for the grad students so they put me in the article as author #243. I’m published!”) Bonus points if you mention it during the introductions portion of your admissions interview in an attempt to engage in a nerdy version of a pissing contest (I swear something like 10 people must’ve done this every place I interviewed “Hi, I’m so and so from X, I have an MPH from Y, I did research in [insert biomedical field].” Your name and school will do just fine, thanks.)

  6. CobraCommander said

    March 13 2007 @ 9:22 pm

    Another thing about medical education I absoloutely loathe is the short white coat. It just begs people to hassle you.
    I’ve seen 19 year old nursing students wearing normal lab coats. If some kid doing a 2 year RN program can wear a regular coat, why can’t I?

  7. Yan said

    March 13 2007 @ 10:37 pm

    Senior year i lived with a pre-med who wanted to get a license plate saying “futrsrgn” ick.

  8. Cherokee said

    March 14 2007 @ 11:45 am

    Cobra, maybe you didn’t wash your white coat in cold water. In cold water they double in length to normal attending length. Because, obviously, medical schools wouldn’t make students wear such demeaning short-ass white coats.

  9. Nish said

    March 14 2007 @ 4:29 pm

    dude this was by far the funniest medstudent blogs I have come across….

  10. Med School Hell » 101 Things You Wish You Knew Before Starting Medical School said

    April 24 2007 @ 10:47 pm

    […] Don’t wear your white coat outside of the hospital. Nobody cares. […]

  11. Paul said

    October 27 2007 @ 3:20 pm

    Hoover, I have a question. I know there’s a fine line between vanity and pride for your school. I’m currently a P1 in pharmacy school. I want to show pride for my school. Would wearing a “School of Pharmacy” sweatshirt or drinking from a Pharmacy coffee mug be OK? What about those plastic stickers on car windows? What do you think is pride for your school and what is vanity?

  12. Hoover said

    October 29 2007 @ 8:23 pm

    Paul — I’d say your examples are displaying pride and not vanity. It’s analogous to wearing your college’s football sweatshirt on game day. You’re proud and there’s nothing wrong with that. There is a fine line between pride and vanity, but the examples above certainly sway towards the vanity line.

    Drinking from a coffee mug or wearing stuff with your school on it is not vanity imo.

  13. First Year Mistakes « Medliorate said

    January 9 2008 @ 5:27 am

    […] Five First Year Mistakes To Avoid [Med School Hell] […]

  14. Personal Trainer said

    June 23 2008 @ 2:08 am

    I have a client who is a doctor and he never lets people know he’s one. I would think doctors straight out of med school would like to let everyone know. It’s only natural but bad?

  15. davesworkout said

    July 4 2008 @ 1:14 am

    Ha! I thought I was the only one who got annoyed by people in health care that wear their scrubs out to eat, or their hospital badges to the mall.

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