Sterile Field THIS

Cherokee  14 Mar, 2007  Medical School, Surgery

You’re pissed off at an attending surgeon in the OR. Which, frankly, could be all the time. To heck with a potential illustrious career in medicine, time to get even! Some possibilities*:

  • Secretly deglove and hand the surgeon a retractor with your bare hand. Mention that your hands were uncomfortable since they don’t stock an 8.375 glove size.
  • Walk into the OR while eating a piece of fried chicken. You had no breakfast, and it’s lunchtime, so you have a right to eat. Be firm.
  • Remove your facemask and accidently sneeze/cough/spit on the surgeon’s hands right after he gloves.
  • Unplug the bovie machine when the surgeon least expects it. Laugh and tell him to lighten up…you’re just foolin’.
  • Descrub during an important part of an afternoon surgery, and tell the surgeon you just remembered your dog needs his midday doggie treat.
  • While the surgeon is putting on scrubs, remove your gloves and try to touch everything that is sterile.
  • During the surgery, push on the instrument table lever so it falls. The louder, the better. Chuckle as the scrub tech tries to reassemble everything that’s still sterile.

*This is satire, for all of you easily offended people. Keeping a patient† sterile and safe during surgery is of the utmost importance.

†Unless it was a patient who was also a surgeon‡.

‡Just kidding.

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8 Comments so far »

  1. Hoover said

    March 14 2007 @ 9:22 pm

    LOL nice post man.

    I used to daydream about breaking scrub as soon as the clock rolled around to noon. “Welp guys, it’s lunch time. I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

  2. Cherokee said

    March 14 2007 @ 9:49 pm

    One of my classmates got in trouble because he didn’t know the rule of never scrubbing out before the attending (or only if you get explicit permission from him).

    Surgeon ego violation! This must be reported to the CDC!

  3. Yan said

    March 14 2007 @ 10:23 pm

    Oh my goodness!!!!! I cant believe you said that!! Thats So wrong!!!! Additional Generic comments applicable to such a remarks that people without a sense of humor might say!!!!!

    JK

    Hilarious Post!

  4. Mary said

    March 14 2007 @ 10:26 pm

    You should write an entry about gunner med students. The kind that look for work in every crevice. I would LVOE to read that

  5. CobraCommander said

    March 15 2007 @ 11:33 am

    “Sterile” is a concept that only applies to people the scrub tech is allowed to bitch at. Attendings can (and do, frequently) commit sins against sterile technique, and no one says shit.

  6. Hoover said

    March 15 2007 @ 1:14 pm

    Haha so true Cobra.

  7. Steve said

    March 16 2007 @ 12:23 am

    I broke scrub more than once on purpose. I am 6′5, so it was no big deal to whack the back of my hand on a low hanging overhead light. Oops, gotta fly! Get another retractor now, bitch!

  8. The Peanut Gallery said

    March 17 2007 @ 3:24 pm

    I laughed out loud when I read the one about unplugging the Bovie. It seemed like the nurses could never plug that thing in before the surgeon needed it. I swear it happened every case. And every time the surgeon would nearly have a stroke. I don’t know why they couldn’t get it together…

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