No Time To Blink

Cherokee  29 Mar, 2007  Medical School

One of the things that annoys me most about medical school (aside from the soul-murdering, nasty, vagina-laden OB/Gyn) is the fact that so much of your time is inflexibly dictated to you. I generally mean via lectures, but it can be a whole variety of time-draining nonsense that I’m not going to go into. Lectures, meetings, training sessions, and more.

You’re supposed to be here at exactly 6AM and then there at 7:30AM and don’t forget yonder at 10:00AM, but on Wednesdays you go to hither at noon. On the 30th at 1PM you go to thither, so don’t dare forget and don’t be late or Dr. Pompous Tightass will get his panties all in a bunch and exercise his “love of teaching” by pimping you into oblivion. And don’t forget all of your regular responsibilities! Make sure those colostomy bags are squeaky clean! Oh, by the way, you’re a professional. This means late arrivals are unacceptable and you’ll naturally be held to an unattainably high standard.

All of this horseshit is most apparent during 3rd year, generally because time is already so hard to come by. They just seem to make it harder on you by making you do as much as possible on a daily basis. 1st and 2nd, luckily, have a lot of lecture time that is optional. At least, for many schools. I pity those of you who have attendance policies during the preclinical years. Luckily 4th year is a slacker year, hopefully even for evil schools with attendance policies. But I digress.

Back on point, I fully realize the world is busy, life is busy, and many careers (professional ones especially) are hustle and bustle with very little time to spare. That’s kind of the nature of things. “Overworked people run the world,” is a quote I’ve probably botched. That said, it still seems like during medical school they could make it a little less complicated, less stressful, and more effective. Jumping through hoops doesn’t make you a good physician…it makes you a good medical student. That is, you know how the system of medical education works, and thus you can effectively navigate through the hoops. And when you’re not jumping through hoops you can actually try to become a good physician. (If that’s your bag.)

Since we have Shelf Exams and three Step Exams (I say four, with the addition of Step 2 CS), shouldn’t these exams be enough to make sure one has a basal degree of competence? Why force all of the nonsense down our throats? I mean, do we really need to be forced to attend lectures during our Surgery rotation when we’re half asleep after a 6-hour GI surgery from the call night before? Where’s the sensibility and flexibility?

I suppose it’s the LCME’s fault. In fact, I bet they have a secret ruleset for pimping.

A medical student needs X hours of hardcore pimping during Surgery in order to be demeaned effectively enough to achieve the core competency of self-realization of retractor bitch status.

Screw being a retractor bitch, screw the LCME, and screw all of the nonsense. Give us time to blink!

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7 Comments so far »

  1. vijay said

    March 29 2007 @ 5:47 am

    “so don’t dare forget and don’t be late or Dr. Pompous Tightass will get his panties all in a bunch and exercise his “love of teaching” by pimping you into oblivion.”

    ha ha ha.. i cant help myself lol… good script hoover..
    seems ur really have felt the hell in med school.. ha ha..

  2. Someone interested medical student and resident education said

    March 29 2007 @ 7:05 am

    you know i was not a fan of the malignant pimping. it hurt. i usually brought my own lube. that being said, it did something (agree or disagree), it force me to actually read the material and try to commit it to retrievable memory.

    i can tell you those tested do not tell me you know the information. oral tests i think are better, although i hated those even more. the thing is in practice patients pimp you everyday.

    “what is the likelihood that this is cancer?” “how often is the a complication?” “what are all of my options?” “is this genetic?”

    and let me tell you, the worst is the paternal grandmother. man they can be brutal.

    as far as the time for lectures. in the clinical years, i think most have tried to set those up to give you the didactic which may put your book learning into perspective. clinical medicine is more interactive and there for needs to be more verbalized. i see this all the time when the residency can answer the multiple choice but can not examine a patient and give me a diagnosis. or they know the name of the exam to perform, but have no idea how to do it.

    anyway, i am boring myself now, so i won’t continue to bore you.

    nice post

  3. Alouette said

    March 29 2007 @ 6:03 pm

    I decided against medical school after a few months of your blog (and your links.) Every patient needs to read what you write. When I read your posts, I see that you have the same reaction to what happens on the job (what walks in as well as supervisors) as anyone else. You all have bad days and good days just like anyone else, but you are expected to be saints with the results of gods by both your patients and the gods above you– those gods having the expectation of you also being able to be in two places at once. We think nothing of a cashier at Wal~Mart not knowing that she just served the recently elected governor, or an accountant being snippy as tax day looms, but a doctor look tired or not have an answer? Lord, have mercy! (I did have a pediatrician try to strong-arm me into breast feeding when I’d just had a baby an hour before, then ten months before that and my body was worn out. There’s no excuse for him and I still glare at him when I pass him. Booby bully!)

    Keep up the excellent work. I drop by every day. I’m going into massage therapy along with counseling psychology. Not nearly the pay, but if I get work in a hospital, when I’m free my door will always be open to stressed out doctors who want five minutes of quiet and a neck or hand massage. . . you all deserve it!

  4. Cherokee said

    March 29 2007 @ 10:38 pm

    Part of the frustration also stems from knowing you probably have chosen the wrong career path. Certain people who really desire to become practicing M.D.’s can slog through all of the crap to reach their goals.

    However, when you realize you have chosen a career that is not a very good fit with your wants and needs, the suffering becomes heightened and the unhappiness/depression begins.

    In other words, be sure (or at the very least NOT ambivalent) before embarking upon such an arduous journey!

  5. Tiny Surgeon said

    March 29 2007 @ 11:42 pm

    “Oh, by the way, you’re a professional. This means late arrivals are unacceptable and you’ll naturally be held to an unattainably high standard.”

    My least favorite phrase: “5 minutes early is on time; on time is late.” Especially when the med student is the only person who arrives on time, but the residents and attendings are all late. I had an attending who was 5 hours late to round once, without calling or paging, yet the moment he arrived we were expected to be ready to present.

  6. jen said

    June 8 2007 @ 8:28 pm

    wow. right on. too bad i came upon this after just finishing third year but you really hit it right on the head with most of my feelings about third year rotations. hoping for a better fourth year …

  7. Jake said

    May 12 2008 @ 11:25 pm

    Your writing perfectly encapsulates my feelings on medschool, Hoover. I fucking hate the system. Dr. Pompous Tightass can go to hell. Gives me violent fantasies just thinking about all the shit I’ve had to eat this year…

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