First I’d like to give a shout out, if you will, to this website and its creator(s). A fascinating concept and an equally fascinating read. No doubt.
Next, I’d like to state in clear and unfortunate terms that I am a recent medical school graduate. I state that so you’ll take me seriously, as I plan to offer several insights about the profession in the coming paragraphs. I’ll also state that I’m not a D.O. or an international medical graduate, thus increasing my status, if you will, even more in your minds. Really though, no offense to my osteopathic colleagues and immigrant/temporary emigrant physicians/physicians-in-training.
I’d like to start out in existential mode, if you’ll allow me. *Squints eyes and rubs chin*. Why would anyone in their right mind choose to apply to, or for that matter, attend medical school? Ah! You’re taking on the pensive pose too now, aren’t you?
Brief and simple answers first come to mind. Money. Status. Ego. Race. Ethnicity. Those were too easy to come up with. I’ll expound on those very shortly, but let’s brainstorm, as my KG teacher used to say, and think of a few more. Ah yes, it’s coming to me now. Retardedness. Delusion. Lack of common sense. Boredom. My parents told me to. My parents did not tell me to, but I know they would have if I didn’t. I pretend like my family did not influence my decisions, but in reality (and don’t tell anyone), I’m a complete slave and bitch and indeed they are the reason why I am an aspiring physician.
Okay good, now we’re getting somewhere. We’ve laid the groundwork to incredibly profound thoughts which are yet to come.
I have to go eat dinner now, so as they did in 1980s sit-coms, I’ll make this a to-be-continued. Rest assured that I will be back for several follow-up visits (no put intended.. medical and medical-related jargon is not my cup of tea and frankly bores the shit out of me). Let me rephrase.. I will be with you in my usual brilliant form in the coming days. And to those of you starting to get pissy, I say pipe down, take a step back, and re-evaluate your existence. What do you really have? A kick-ass histology text? Superior ABG obtaining technique? A stethoscope with a hip pediatric chest piece? Sweet pics from your “white coat ceremony” which you subsequently uploaded on Friendster? Wait, did the AMA hook it up with a free Netter’s? Man that is lame. I suggest you take a seat and listen to what I have to say…