Category Archives: General

Quit Drinking the Hatorade

What the fuck is with all of the hate recently? I’ve seen a huge increase in the amount of comments directed towards me and questioning why I still update this site since I’m out of medicine.

Don’t worry about what I’m doing and go save some lives. Seriously, get a fucking life and don’t worry about me updating this blog. I’m actually starting to think some of you guys have stalking issues.

Let’s take a look at some of the recent comments. ‘MD’ is my favorite commenter lately:

If sleeping in every day and playing WoW makes you feel fulfilled, by all means do it. And if you are going to look back on life with a sense of pride and feel that you had a meaningful existence in doing so, then by all means make yourself happy. I can promise you I’ll never devote a blog to why your ways are wrong or what I don’t like about it.

What the fuck? Do you actually think I sleep in every single day and play WoW all day long? I run a company doing 7-figure revenues every year and you think I play WoW all day?  I don’t give a fuck about ‘being fulfilled’ and ‘contributing to society.’ What I care about is my bottom line and financial security for the future. Nothing more, nothing less. Like I’ve said time and time again, it’s all about the Benjamins.

MD will never devote a blog to me because he simply doesn’t have the time. If you think you have the time while practicing medicine, I challenge to you start one that becomes more popular than MedSchoolHell.

Don’t lie to yourself and think it’s about anything else, either. You want money just like the next guy, and you want to obtain it with the least amount of work possible. Fuck all of this “contributing to society” crap that’s been rehashed over and over. That shit is tired, get over it.

I’m not going to lie and say I don’t sleep in regularly and play games a lot. I do. But, I still run a successful company. I have a lot of “free time.”

I love what I do not only because it’s very interesting to me, but also because it gives me an insane amount of freedom to do what I want, when I want.

The Hatorade drinkers like ‘MD’ are really just pissed that they have to wake up each morning at the ass-crack of dawn and go into work while I snooze it up for a few more hours.  I can do what I want, when I want while they have to ask for time off and put up with patient care issues while pretending to “feel good” about what they do for a living. Whatever, I see through that shit like saran wrap.

That’s honestly the nuts and bolts of all of the negative comments I’ve received lately, and if you feel differently, please let me know in the comments.

Fuck Surgery

So I’m not sure who the original author is, but apparently this was found on a 3×5 card in a resident room in some hospital. The person must have been bored during his/her surgery rotation. Enjoy!

Fuck Surgery – By: Anonymous
—————————-
Fuck surgery.
The hours murder me.
No one here’s concerned with me,
and no one says a word to me.
And all I do here is waste my time.
I stand around and don’t say shit like a motherfuckin’ mime.
I get up all early for no fucking reason.
When it comes to my will to live, it’s like it’s open season.
Cause I wanna die like every fucking day.
Please someone shoot my ass to take the pain away.
But that thought makes me nervous,
cause I’d hate to end up a patient on my own fucking service.
Cause don’t I already spend enough time here?
Damn, I need a beer.
And how come these guys never wanna go home to fuck their wife?
Please Lord, don’t let me be a surgeon and waste my whole fuckin’ life.
I ask why I am here, but I never get an answer.
That shit gives me visceral pain like pancreatic cancer.
I look for good reasons, but I can never find ‘em.
That shit is about to kill me like a widened mediastinum.
Here we go again, rushing to the OR quick.
This has got to be some kinda trick.
Cause doing nothing makes me sick.
And I’ve been standing in this surgery 10 hours now, holding my dick.
And does it get any worse,
than that bitchy scrub nurse?
Yes, bitch, I got the fucking gown.
And I got my gloves too, you need to settle down.
And don’t tell me shit about no sterile technique,
I’ll look in your direction if I want you to speak.
I don’t know why you think this job really rocks,
but talk shit and I’ll slap you back to your old job at Jack-In-The-Box.
And these residents, they got me trippin’ too.
Just let me go home, man, you act like I got nothing better to do.
If it’s past 6:30, and I am still here, you are not my homey.
And I’m telling you right now: I have seen my last lap chole.
If you want me to scrub, you can blow me,
and if you think I give a shit, clearly you don’t know me.
And the way you’re acting like you’re the boss,
that shit’s got me at a loss.
Cause you’re just a resident.
You musta forgot what that meant.
That means you’re not the attending,
so stop pretending.
You talk a lotta shit, always running your mouth,
but I can see you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.
And if you try to pimp me again on stupid surgical devices,
I’ll put yo’ fuckin’ lights out like an energy crisis.
But the chiefs have got to be the worst.
I’m down to get outta here even if it’s in the back of a hearse.
One guy goes as far as to even salt my game.
Tells me to stop chatting with the cute nurses when I’m working a
number and a name,
The other chief ain’t seen something he didn’t think was edible.
And I swear that fat motherfucker looks like the villain from The Incredibles.
On surgery, why is every day the worst day of my life?
Why do I feel this rotation has become my wife?
Why am I so full of strife?
Why do I have sick fantasies of stabbing y’all in the neck with a knife?
Oh, I know why: cause you took my Thanksgiving.
For that, when it comes to beating your ass, I will have no misgivings.
For this, there will be no forgiving.
Now my Thanksgiving dinner will be McDonalds and a six-pack of beer.
I’ll be laying back drunk and alone, asking how the fuck I ended up here.
Isn’t that pathetic?
I’m pissed off like I was on three different diuretics.
I don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself.
But ah, fuck it man, I gotta quit this bullshit and study for my shelf.

Thanks, Everyone

I really do appreciate all of you guys linking back to this site. It’s high time that I did an appreciation post, so here goes. Forgive me for not giving out detailed information about your blogs, but I really don’t have the time.

I’ll be doing these “appreciation” posts more regularly now that I’ve slowed down posting the ranting-type shit to this site. I find which sites to post links to by who is showing up in my incoming links area in WordPress.

Thanks again guys, and keep it real.

If I Were Your Attending

  • Everybody will leave work no later than 5pm. Working late sucks.
  • Keggers will be held every Friday night after work, attendance is optional.
  • Rounds start at 11 am, and then end at noon. Lunch is important, and fuck getting up early.
  • Gym Time: I like my residents and medical students to be in shape, but I really don’t give two shits if you’re fat and dumpy. 9-11am is the designated gym time, but you can do it whenever it’s most convenient for you. As long as you get your work done, work out whenever. If you hate working out, do what you want to do instead.
  • Once your work is done, it’s time to go home. Don’t ask for permission, just leave.
  • Business attire in the hospital is stupid. Wear scrubs on my service if you like. If you want to pimp your nicest suit, I don’t give a fuck.
  • Saturday and Sunday are off limits for the hospital, I hire hospitalists to take care of that kind of shit. If you want to work on Saturday and Sunday, go for it.
  • Residents and students will spend at least 20% of their working time working on personal projects. Entrepreneurism is encouraged.
  • Residents and students will be expected to take at least one nap per day. I don’t care when you take it.
  • World of Warcraft and XBOX games (including, but not limited to, Call of Duty 4) will be played on a daily basis. If you’re not into this sort of thing, go do whatever it is that you like.
  • Anyone that is determined by me, to be a “gunner”, has to complete the following for time: [Run 1 mile, 100 pull-ups, 200 sit-ups, 300 squats, Run 1 mile], all while wearing a 25 pound weight vest. Any time greater than 35 minutes earns the “gunner” a week of doing nothing but scut work, digital rectal exams and manual disimpactions.

Let’s have some fun!